If you looked around your office on Friday, you may well have noticed there were a few empty seats. It was probably down to a nasty new virus that has confined people up and down the country to the sofa all weekend: Xbox Fever.
That’s right. Some keen gamers who purchased the new gaming console at midnight on Friday have either booked Friday off as holiday to try out their new Xbox Ones or were playing sick.
Microsoft have anticipated that this might be the case and have issued a cheeky doctor’s note for you to excuse yourself off work for the day.
The letter can be personalised to change your condition to Zombie Flu, Irritable Battle Syndrome or Golfer’s Elbow, depending on your game of choice.
If getting out of work isn’t enough, there are also options to change the letter to be addressed to your parents to get you out of doing chores, or even to your partner to get you out of sexy time. Yes, Microsoft made that an option.
Apparently those who have come down with the unfortunate symptoms must play continuous Xbox One until they are better. This may take anywhere from 1-3 days and will require years of accumulating achievements thereafter.
Hopefully this means that most people have recovered from the nasty fever over the weekend, but perhaps for those with a serious case of the illness, they may have taken Monday off as well, just for good measure.
The doctor’s letter concludes: ‘If used effectively, Xbox One can help relieve the patient’s entertainment deprivation and will have an increased state of happiness at all times.’
If you ever find yourself struck down with a nasty case of Xbox Fever, use the letter to excuse yourself from work for the day. CBR does not reccommend this – show some willpower like the rest of us and wait until you get home to try out your new console!