Those boffins at Canon have come up with an excellent reason why you should print more, and it’s not their intention one little bit that in the process you might actually use more Canon printer consumables – honest.
The company conducted independent research into the health of UK office workers, and found that we’re all a rather lazy bunch of so and so’s. One in five UK office-based employees admit to doing no exercise at all, with only one in 20 looking to join gyms in the New Year.
46% of the 1,500 questioned said that they work more than 8 hours a day (1 in 10 claiming to work more than 10 hours a day) and 42% of these workers sit in front of their PC from between 6 and 10 hours in any working day. “With many workers not even leaving the office to get lunch,” Canon opined, “the health and fitness of UK employees is in question.”
Canon’s answer is the Alternative Office Workout, said to, “help UK employees use their workplace to get active.” It suggests walking up the stairs instead of using the lift, walking over to talk to colleagues instead of emailing them (how antiquated!), making lots of tea and washing up afterwards and even tidying your desk for 10 minutes at the end of each day.
According to the company, “Other top tips include taking a break from your computer screen every 45 minutes to prevent eye strain and headaches; print off documents instead of reading them from your computer and introduce a team exercise plan including lunchtime runs and regular walks around the office.” Did you spot the hidden Canon sales pitch? “Print off documents instead of reading them from your computer.” Ha! And Canon sells printers and printer consumables! Stone the crows!
It all makes a certain amount of sense though – if you print most things that you would normally only read on-screen then you will need to spend 10 minutes a day tidying your desk, because you will have a mountain of printed materials to find a home – or bin – for.
According to Canon carrying boxes around the office also burns loads of calories, which is just as well because you’ll be carrying a small forest’s worth of scrap paper around the office on a daily basis. Print more, carry more, and use the stairs instead of the lift – no wonder you’ll be needing to make more cups of tea. Better lace it with an isotonic sports drink while you’re at it.
Still, perhaps the thing isn’t all a thinly veiled marketing ploy after all. Canon says it recruited Amanda Ursell, one of the UK’s leading health experts to devise the Alternative Office Workout, so it can’t be a Great Big Conspiracy, can it?
In other amusing news from Canon, statistics show that the simply hilarious act of photocopying one’s ass at the Christmas party is alive and well.
Surveying its own technicians, Canon said 46% of those questioned stated that they had been called out to repair a printer/copier due to ‘non-work related’ incidents, two-thirds reported up to a 25% increase in call outs over Christmas, and 32% of technicians had been called out to repair broken glass which had been sat on, or to fix paper jams that revealed evidence of embarrassing images. Perhaps if you follow the Alternative Office Workout, then you won’t break the glass when you sit on it next year. Perhaps not.